I know is has been a month since I have written, but life has been busy this summer and then my computer broke down. Thankfully I have a computer geek husband who was able to fix it for me.
Since I wrote last I have done 2 additional races. I did a Mud Run at the end of August with my friend Molly. This race was not as difficult and it was a lot more fun! I was covered in mud, but I really didn't care. I had a great time and although I won't be doing a mud run next year; I would do this mud run again. I cannot say the same for the Steeplechase Mud Run, I don't believe I will do that again.
The second race was a 5k with my 19 year old niece that I did yesterday. It was not my best as it was in the afternoon and humid so, my exercise induced asthma kicked in and made it more difficult. I told my niece who is 20 + years younger than me to not wait with me to go on ahead. She did great and, although slow, I did feel okay about this race better than I had in the past. I think because I am looking at it differently. I don't care what my time is or how fast I am. I am moving which is the most important thing. I have 5-6 miles to get in tomorrow for my upcoming half marathon. Again, I know I will be ready I know I will not be fast, but I am using this more as a measuring stick. Next summer I have already decided not to do any mud runs. I want to concentrate on my endurance and getting more physically fit. So, next summer my goal is 2 half marathons. Okay, back to the measuring stick, I plan on doing 3 half marathons starting with this one in October and just see with each additional half (one in May and one in August or September of 2018) how much I improved. That is all I care about I could care less about being the fastest person in the races my only competition is with myself. No one else. I may do a 5k or 10k just to prepare next summer but I will not be doing any mud runs in 2018. Not to say I will never do one again, I am just taking a break and concentrating on my running and the additional half marathons.
Well, that is all that is going on with me. I hope everyone has a great week, and as always all comments are welcome.
Below again is my DeterMination donation for the American Cancer Society if anyone would like to donate.
DetermiNation
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Monday, August 14, 2017
Mud Run
I'm been thinking about the mud run 5k that I had on August 6th. I have been struggling with how to write this blog post because I always want to be 100% honest. This race was set up at a former ski slope. I knew this, but I didn't think the race would use the most difficult slopes for the race. I was completely wrong with that assessment!
Let me be clear. I was at fault because I didn't train enough for the race. I know even if I had trained for it the way I had planned to; I would still have not been prepared. It was an extremely difficult course and I only did the 5k. It was supposed to be a beginner mud run! I've done a beginner mud run and I would have to disagree with their description. One of my closest friends who has done triathlons and other kinds of races said the race was much more difficult than she expected.
So, part of me was disappointed in myself for not training enough, and the other part was like, "you took on way to much this summer and became way to overwhelmed and burnout is what happened." So, I have 3 more races this summer one more mud run (this one should not be as difficult), a 5k with my 19 year old niece, and then a half marathon at the end of October. Next year I am planning on 2 half marathons and that will probably be it. Being overwhelmed makes my anxiety worse and my negative self talk worse which does not help me at all. It's time to just concentrate. 2 races for a season and work on my motivation and mental toughness.
Well, that is it, doing this race was one of many lessons I have learned in my life. No matter what age we are if we are not moving forward in life and learning from our mistakes then life starts to feel like quick sand and we are barely getting through. This is not the way I want to live my life so I will just smile and prepare for the next obstacle in my life, and continue to learn.
I hope everyone has a great week. And as always all comments are welcome!
Because of the races and the training I need to do in the next few months, my blog post will be cut down. Rather than every week, it will be every other week.
As always my link for the American Cancer Society is below all donations are appreciated.
Thanks!
DetermiNation
Let me be clear. I was at fault because I didn't train enough for the race. I know even if I had trained for it the way I had planned to; I would still have not been prepared. It was an extremely difficult course and I only did the 5k. It was supposed to be a beginner mud run! I've done a beginner mud run and I would have to disagree with their description. One of my closest friends who has done triathlons and other kinds of races said the race was much more difficult than she expected.
So, part of me was disappointed in myself for not training enough, and the other part was like, "you took on way to much this summer and became way to overwhelmed and burnout is what happened." So, I have 3 more races this summer one more mud run (this one should not be as difficult), a 5k with my 19 year old niece, and then a half marathon at the end of October. Next year I am planning on 2 half marathons and that will probably be it. Being overwhelmed makes my anxiety worse and my negative self talk worse which does not help me at all. It's time to just concentrate. 2 races for a season and work on my motivation and mental toughness.
Well, that is it, doing this race was one of many lessons I have learned in my life. No matter what age we are if we are not moving forward in life and learning from our mistakes then life starts to feel like quick sand and we are barely getting through. This is not the way I want to live my life so I will just smile and prepare for the next obstacle in my life, and continue to learn.
I hope everyone has a great week. And as always all comments are welcome!
Because of the races and the training I need to do in the next few months, my blog post will be cut down. Rather than every week, it will be every other week.
As always my link for the American Cancer Society is below all donations are appreciated.
Thanks!
DetermiNation
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Chatter
My blog post this week is something that I have been thinking about for quite some time now and I wasn't sure how to broach this subject to be honest.
So, here goes nothing. I'd like to talk about something that has been annoying me for actually over a year. Chatter, chatter when it comes to weight loss and loving yourself. People are always talking about those people who may need to shed some pounds. They tend to almost shame you into losing weight. Whether through a specific diet, or workouts it seems to be the norm these days, to be the extreme fitness fanatic. What I am also seeing through the beauty of Facebook is the other extreme. Those that say love your body as is. They almost tear into you if you say you are watching your diet and trying to be healthier, I've been told if you loved your body you wouldn't worry about eating healthier. That it is all in your head and that we as a society have been brainwashed to think we need to be a size 2. I have had to block people on Facebook that go for both extremes and take myself out of groups that I thought were nice places to talk about working out and eating healthy only to leave them because they were one of the 2 extremes. To me they were just full of bitchy people that were not helping anyone.
Let me be clear I do not have a problem with those individuals who are fitness fanatics, or those who love their body as it and have not desire to change their lifestyle. I do, however, have a problem with those trying to shove their ideology onto others. THAT'S where I draw the line. Trying to make others feel bad because I am not as strict with my diet as they think I should be, or those that openly take hits at people who are respected in the fitness industry who they have deemed a quack because *gasp* they are talking about a healthy diet and in their minds that is brainwashing them. Those that have 3 children and say "what's your excuse for not working out", or those that tell me I am not mentally strong enough which is why I listen to the newest fad (at least in their mind they think I do).
One of my favoring quotes is "Don't workout because you hate your body workout because you love it." Basically love yourself at any weight but if you want to improve your health and lose some weight go for it. If you are dieting and losing weight for the RIGHT reason, for you, then more power to you. If you are saying every time you look into the mirror "I hate my body and have to lose weight because I am fat." Well, negative like that will breed itself in your brain and yo-yo dieting here I come!
I think that is why this subject of chatter from BOTH sides ticks me off because each side can be negative and shameful of others as a way to reiterate that they are right. Quite frankly to be completely honest I have enough negative chatter in my brain that I don't' need to listen to others. The past couple months I have worked harder at quieting that chatter in my brain and work on my emotional eating. When you have general anxiety disorder; emotional eating can be even more difficult, because of the extreme fear that never seems to be far away, but I m working on it. I am working at being more mindful. One example of this is: when I think I am hungry am I really hungry? Not necessarily saying I can't have something, but looking at it in a different way. What I eat or drink and how it affects my fitness goals I have for myself. Goals that mean a lot to me. Then I take some deep breaths and decide if I am really hungry or not, and it may surprise you to hear the answer is not always no. There are times I really am hungry so I then will eat something whether a piece of dark chocolate, or an apple. It will all depend on my hunger at the time and I am fine with it. I don't feel guilty about it. My promise to myself is to try to be more consistent with eating healthier. Don't get me wrong I still have fun nights, like this Friday I am going out with some girls for Mexican you can bet your ass I am having some margaritas and again I am cool with that. I am not doing it all the time so this is not a problem.
Eating healthy and working on my mindfulness are daily changes that I am making so that they become a lifestyle change not a diet. It can be a struggle, but again it is something I want to do and I will get there. I am going to emphasize this is what is working for ME! It may not be for everyone, and you can be damn well be sure I am not going to push it on anyone else. You, the reader, will hear about my weekly challenges with food or training, but I am guessing since you come here to read my blog this is helpful to you in some way.
So, that is me venting about the crap I have been seeing and hearing about this for the past year. Extremism for either side of the coin is not good and I get sick of hearing about it. So, I will get off my soapbox now, I will admit it did feel good to vent. . As always any comments below are welcome I will make this one caveat to that they are welcome as long as they are respectful. :)
Hope everyone has a great week and ask always my DetmiNation link is below.
DetermiNation
So, here goes nothing. I'd like to talk about something that has been annoying me for actually over a year. Chatter, chatter when it comes to weight loss and loving yourself. People are always talking about those people who may need to shed some pounds. They tend to almost shame you into losing weight. Whether through a specific diet, or workouts it seems to be the norm these days, to be the extreme fitness fanatic. What I am also seeing through the beauty of Facebook is the other extreme. Those that say love your body as is. They almost tear into you if you say you are watching your diet and trying to be healthier, I've been told if you loved your body you wouldn't worry about eating healthier. That it is all in your head and that we as a society have been brainwashed to think we need to be a size 2. I have had to block people on Facebook that go for both extremes and take myself out of groups that I thought were nice places to talk about working out and eating healthy only to leave them because they were one of the 2 extremes. To me they were just full of bitchy people that were not helping anyone.
Let me be clear I do not have a problem with those individuals who are fitness fanatics, or those who love their body as it and have not desire to change their lifestyle. I do, however, have a problem with those trying to shove their ideology onto others. THAT'S where I draw the line. Trying to make others feel bad because I am not as strict with my diet as they think I should be, or those that openly take hits at people who are respected in the fitness industry who they have deemed a quack because *gasp* they are talking about a healthy diet and in their minds that is brainwashing them. Those that have 3 children and say "what's your excuse for not working out", or those that tell me I am not mentally strong enough which is why I listen to the newest fad (at least in their mind they think I do).
One of my favoring quotes is "Don't workout because you hate your body workout because you love it." Basically love yourself at any weight but if you want to improve your health and lose some weight go for it. If you are dieting and losing weight for the RIGHT reason, for you, then more power to you. If you are saying every time you look into the mirror "I hate my body and have to lose weight because I am fat." Well, negative like that will breed itself in your brain and yo-yo dieting here I come!
I think that is why this subject of chatter from BOTH sides ticks me off because each side can be negative and shameful of others as a way to reiterate that they are right. Quite frankly to be completely honest I have enough negative chatter in my brain that I don't' need to listen to others. The past couple months I have worked harder at quieting that chatter in my brain and work on my emotional eating. When you have general anxiety disorder; emotional eating can be even more difficult, because of the extreme fear that never seems to be far away, but I m working on it. I am working at being more mindful. One example of this is: when I think I am hungry am I really hungry? Not necessarily saying I can't have something, but looking at it in a different way. What I eat or drink and how it affects my fitness goals I have for myself. Goals that mean a lot to me. Then I take some deep breaths and decide if I am really hungry or not, and it may surprise you to hear the answer is not always no. There are times I really am hungry so I then will eat something whether a piece of dark chocolate, or an apple. It will all depend on my hunger at the time and I am fine with it. I don't feel guilty about it. My promise to myself is to try to be more consistent with eating healthier. Don't get me wrong I still have fun nights, like this Friday I am going out with some girls for Mexican you can bet your ass I am having some margaritas and again I am cool with that. I am not doing it all the time so this is not a problem.
Eating healthy and working on my mindfulness are daily changes that I am making so that they become a lifestyle change not a diet. It can be a struggle, but again it is something I want to do and I will get there. I am going to emphasize this is what is working for ME! It may not be for everyone, and you can be damn well be sure I am not going to push it on anyone else. You, the reader, will hear about my weekly challenges with food or training, but I am guessing since you come here to read my blog this is helpful to you in some way.
So, that is me venting about the crap I have been seeing and hearing about this for the past year. Extremism for either side of the coin is not good and I get sick of hearing about it. So, I will get off my soapbox now, I will admit it did feel good to vent. . As always any comments below are welcome I will make this one caveat to that they are welcome as long as they are respectful. :)
Hope everyone has a great week and ask always my DetmiNation link is below.
DetermiNation
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
BBQ Chicken
My post this week is just going to be a quick recipe. This is one of my favorites that is my go to when I want the crockpot to do all the work. :)
Hungry girl Slow Cooking BBQ Chicken
I usually will have it with a vegetable and no carbohydrate as the bun will be enough. If you prefer to have brown rice and no bun, either way works well. It is also great for leftovers.
As always all comments are welcome! I hope everyone has a great week and again my Determination link is below if anyone would like to donate.
Thanks
Paula
DetermiNation
Hungry girl Slow Cooking BBQ Chicken
I usually will have it with a vegetable and no carbohydrate as the bun will be enough. If you prefer to have brown rice and no bun, either way works well. It is also great for leftovers.
As always all comments are welcome! I hope everyone has a great week and again my Determination link is below if anyone would like to donate.
Thanks
Paula
DetermiNation
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
July
Anyone who has been diagnosed with depression will have their off days. Many people find themselves more depressed during the winter months. For me that month is July. Around Saturday I started feeling a bit down and I was like no biggie, no one is upbeat all the time. Each day after it seemed to get worse until finally on Tuesday I was groggy and really didn't want to get out of bed at all that morning. So, I dragged myself out of bed and sat down and just thought about what triggered this depression. It took me a second but I realized it was July. This has no significance to most but to me it does,
July of 2003 my father's cancer resurfaced and within 4 months he was gone. To give you a time line of how quickly this happened Dad was diagnosed with oral cancer May 2003. They surgically removed it and did a body scan and no other cancer was detected. We breathed a sigh of relief, a relief that didn't last. July, just a month and a half later it came back. The doctors kept telling us it was treatable and that everything would be fine. He had surgery again, and this time he had a round of chemotherapy and a round of radiation. He was sick from the treatment. but as long as it did the trick and saved him we knew it would be worth it. October 31, 2003 we found out that there was nothing more that could be done and he had 3 months to live, 15 days later her was gone.
So, looking at this timeline, July is a month that majorly triggers my depression. You would think that the initial diagnosis date would do that, but it is July more. One way I try to explain this is it was like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football. Right when we were getting our footing again and things were looking up *BAM* cancer struck again. The football was taken away right when we were trying to kick it.
After 13 years I am getting better. I am better at using my therapy to make sure it does not become a 2-3 weeks episode like in the past. This time it lasted 4 days. I am not a pacifist when it comes to my depression, when I realize the signs I attack it with meditation, movement, and diet. I know if I'm not aware of it 2-3 weeks of my life will go up in smoke! Puff! I won't let that happen again.
Awareness for me is key when it comes to my Depression.
So, although this months sucks for me I know it will suck next year too. My depression is a part of who I am. Awareness and mindfulness are key for me. I am making it through another July, and this year I didn't lose much time in the process. I'd say that is a win in my book.
Well, my food journey has been going ok, but each day is a new day to improve. Next week I will have a new recipe to try so stay tuned.
Well, I hope everyone has a great week as always all comments are welcome.
My DeterMination link for the American Cancer Society is below again, if anyone would like to donate. Thank you,
Paula
DeterMination
July of 2003 my father's cancer resurfaced and within 4 months he was gone. To give you a time line of how quickly this happened Dad was diagnosed with oral cancer May 2003. They surgically removed it and did a body scan and no other cancer was detected. We breathed a sigh of relief, a relief that didn't last. July, just a month and a half later it came back. The doctors kept telling us it was treatable and that everything would be fine. He had surgery again, and this time he had a round of chemotherapy and a round of radiation. He was sick from the treatment. but as long as it did the trick and saved him we knew it would be worth it. October 31, 2003 we found out that there was nothing more that could be done and he had 3 months to live, 15 days later her was gone.
So, looking at this timeline, July is a month that majorly triggers my depression. You would think that the initial diagnosis date would do that, but it is July more. One way I try to explain this is it was like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football. Right when we were getting our footing again and things were looking up *BAM* cancer struck again. The football was taken away right when we were trying to kick it.
After 13 years I am getting better. I am better at using my therapy to make sure it does not become a 2-3 weeks episode like in the past. This time it lasted 4 days. I am not a pacifist when it comes to my depression, when I realize the signs I attack it with meditation, movement, and diet. I know if I'm not aware of it 2-3 weeks of my life will go up in smoke! Puff! I won't let that happen again.
Awareness for me is key when it comes to my Depression.
So, although this months sucks for me I know it will suck next year too. My depression is a part of who I am. Awareness and mindfulness are key for me. I am making it through another July, and this year I didn't lose much time in the process. I'd say that is a win in my book.
Well, my food journey has been going ok, but each day is a new day to improve. Next week I will have a new recipe to try so stay tuned.
Well, I hope everyone has a great week as always all comments are welcome.
My DeterMination link for the American Cancer Society is below again, if anyone would like to donate. Thank you,
Paula
DeterMination
Monday, July 3, 2017
yummy
This is going to be a quick post and then I will post the yummy healthy recipe I made tonight.
Cutting out sweets this week did not go so well. It was a lot harder than I anticipated so I will work on doing it for another week. By doing this I hope to curb my dependence on sweets, and have healthy options available when I have what I call "needing a sugar fix." Drink water or eat some fruit are some ideas that I hope will help. I'll be honest, when you work from home it can be harder to control your eating because you do a lot more mindless eating. This week my plan is to work on mindfulness when it comes to eating I need to be more aware of what I am putting in my mouth when I am staring at my monitor. My plan is to have little reminders around my monitor so that when I grab for something to eat I will ask myself am I really hungry or not. If I give myself that minute to think about I will make better decisions throughout the week.
Caffeine update: This week was actually harder than the first week, I didn't give in and have a Diet Mountain Dew but it was tempting. Headaches were pretty bad this week but I will keep plugging away at. I have read it takes 1 month for withdrawals symptoms to go away so 2 weeks down 2 weeks to go!
Training for the half marathon continues, some weeks are better than others but I keep plugging away. :)
Alright so everyone have a great Independence Day and as promised here is the meal that I made tonight. It was so good. I have a Skinnytaste cookbook and this was really yummy. I plan to make more in the future.
Chicken Enchillades Skinnytaste
As always any comments are welcome, and here again is my DetermiNation page all donations are welcome.
Paula
DetermiNation American Cancer Society
Cutting out sweets this week did not go so well. It was a lot harder than I anticipated so I will work on doing it for another week. By doing this I hope to curb my dependence on sweets, and have healthy options available when I have what I call "needing a sugar fix." Drink water or eat some fruit are some ideas that I hope will help. I'll be honest, when you work from home it can be harder to control your eating because you do a lot more mindless eating. This week my plan is to work on mindfulness when it comes to eating I need to be more aware of what I am putting in my mouth when I am staring at my monitor. My plan is to have little reminders around my monitor so that when I grab for something to eat I will ask myself am I really hungry or not. If I give myself that minute to think about I will make better decisions throughout the week.
Caffeine update: This week was actually harder than the first week, I didn't give in and have a Diet Mountain Dew but it was tempting. Headaches were pretty bad this week but I will keep plugging away at. I have read it takes 1 month for withdrawals symptoms to go away so 2 weeks down 2 weeks to go!
Training for the half marathon continues, some weeks are better than others but I keep plugging away. :)
Alright so everyone have a great Independence Day and as promised here is the meal that I made tonight. It was so good. I have a Skinnytaste cookbook and this was really yummy. I plan to make more in the future.
Chicken Enchillades Skinnytaste
As always any comments are welcome, and here again is my DetermiNation page all donations are welcome.
Paula
DetermiNation American Cancer Society
Monday, June 26, 2017
Gradual
I decided to change the day to write in my blog to Mondays. Sundays always seem so busy trying to get ready for the week that I always seem to forget about, so Monday it is.
So, I wrote in my blog last week, I was going to work on cleaning up my diet. Well best laid plans....After eating super healthy one day; I decided I needed to be more gradual with this. My # 1 priority is my running and I knew if I did to much at one time I would be setting myself up to fail. So, last Tuesday I gave up caffeine. Many may not thing this was difficult, but for me it was very hard. I was a Diet Dew drinker. I don't drink coffee so if I was dragging I reached for my Diet Dew. I would usually have a couple per day. Tuesday wasn't bad. Wednesday I started to get the headaches which I was prepared for. What I wasn't prepared for was how tired I was. So tired that at some point I almost face planted on my keyboard a couple times during work. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so tired. At one point I thought I was sick, but I was not, just wiped out. I also couldn't concentrate which can be a symptom of my anxiety, but not in this case. I couldn't concentrate because of how exhausted I was.
I decided to look up caffeine withdrawal symptom's. Wouldn't you know it? Extreme tiredness and failure to concentrate were at the top of the list. Around Friday I started to feel better and by Monday I am feeling so much better. It made me realize I never want to go through that again. So now my drink of choice is water
My list to gradually getting healthier is as follows:
So, I wrote in my blog last week, I was going to work on cleaning up my diet. Well best laid plans....After eating super healthy one day; I decided I needed to be more gradual with this. My # 1 priority is my running and I knew if I did to much at one time I would be setting myself up to fail. So, last Tuesday I gave up caffeine. Many may not thing this was difficult, but for me it was very hard. I was a Diet Dew drinker. I don't drink coffee so if I was dragging I reached for my Diet Dew. I would usually have a couple per day. Tuesday wasn't bad. Wednesday I started to get the headaches which I was prepared for. What I wasn't prepared for was how tired I was. So tired that at some point I almost face planted on my keyboard a couple times during work. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so tired. At one point I thought I was sick, but I was not, just wiped out. I also couldn't concentrate which can be a symptom of my anxiety, but not in this case. I couldn't concentrate because of how exhausted I was.
I decided to look up caffeine withdrawal symptom's. Wouldn't you know it? Extreme tiredness and failure to concentrate were at the top of the list. Around Friday I started to feel better and by Monday I am feeling so much better. It made me realize I never want to go through that again. So now my drink of choice is water
My list to gradually getting healthier is as follows:
- Week 1-Quit drinking caffeine-DONE
- Week 2-Stop eating candy and sweets
- Week 3-Cut down on simple carbs and try to eat complex carbs as much as possible
- Week4- Try to Eat only whole foods in my diet
This week my goal is to cut out sweets and candy starting tomorrow. I know I won't be perfect, no one is. I know that if I can gradually start changing my diet, by the 5th week I should be eating mostly fruits, veggie, healthy fats, lean protein, and complex carbs. If I have to I may need to do more than one week for a group, but if I do I know this is what I need to do to change my diet. An example is doing two weeks for sweets. This is what I think will work for me. Everyone has to chose a way that will work for themselves, this for me, is not a diet, but a gradual lifestyle change.
As always if anyone has any questions or comments leave them below, my link for my fundraising will be below also if anyone want to donate. I hope everyone has a great week and will write more on my journey next Monday.
Paula
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