Chatter

My blog post this week is something that I have been thinking about for quite some time now and I wasn't sure how to broach this subject to be honest.

So, here goes nothing. I'd like to talk about something that has been annoying me for actually over a year. Chatter, chatter when it comes to weight loss and loving yourself.  People are always talking about those people who may need to shed some pounds. They tend to almost shame you into losing weight. Whether through a specific diet, or workouts it seems to be the norm these days, to be the extreme fitness fanatic. What I am also seeing through the beauty of Facebook is the other extreme. Those that say love your body as is. They almost tear into you if you say you are watching your diet and trying to be healthier, I've been told if you loved your body you wouldn't worry about eating healthier. That it is all in your head and that we as a society have been brainwashed to think we need to be a size 2. I have had to block people on Facebook that go for both extremes and take myself out of groups that I thought were nice places to talk about working out and eating healthy only to leave them because they were one of the 2 extremes. To me they were just full of bitchy people that were not helping anyone.

Let me be clear I do not have a problem with those individuals who are fitness fanatics, or those who love their body as it and have not desire to change their lifestyle.  I do, however, have a problem with those trying to shove their ideology onto others. THAT'S where I  draw the line. Trying to make others feel bad because I am not as strict with my diet as they think I should be, or those that openly take hits at people who are respected in the fitness industry who they have deemed a quack because *gasp* they are talking about a healthy diet and in their minds that is brainwashing them. Those that have 3 children and say "what's your excuse for not working out", or those that tell me I am not mentally strong enough which is why I listen to the newest fad (at least in their mind they think I do).

One of my favoring quotes is "Don't workout because you hate your body workout because you love it." Basically love yourself at any weight but if you want to improve your health and lose some weight go for it. If you are dieting and losing weight for the RIGHT reason, for you, then more power to you.  If you are saying every time you look into the mirror "I hate my body and have to lose weight because I am fat." Well, negative like that will breed itself in your brain and yo-yo dieting here I come!

I think that is why this subject of chatter from BOTH sides ticks me off because each side can be negative and shameful of others as a way to reiterate that they are right.  Quite frankly to be completely honest I have enough negative chatter in my brain that I don't' need to listen to others. The past couple months I have worked harder at quieting that chatter in my brain and work on my emotional eating.  When you have general anxiety disorder; emotional eating can be even more difficult, because of the extreme fear that never seems to be far away, but I m working on it. I am working at being more mindful. One example of this is:  when I think I am hungry am I really hungry? Not necessarily saying I can't have something, but looking at it in a different way. What I eat or drink and how it affects my fitness goals I have for myself.  Goals that mean a lot to me.  Then I take some deep breaths and decide if I am really hungry or not, and it may surprise you to hear the answer is not always no.  There are times I really am hungry so I then will eat something whether a piece of dark chocolate, or an apple. It will all depend on my hunger at the time and I am fine with it. I don't feel guilty about it. My promise to myself is to try to be more consistent with eating healthier.  Don't get me wrong I still have fun nights, like this Friday I am going out with some girls for Mexican you can bet your ass I am having some margaritas and again I am cool with that.  I am not doing it all the time so this is not a problem.

Eating healthy and working on my mindfulness are daily changes that I am making so that they become a lifestyle change not a diet.  It can be a struggle, but again it is something I want to do and  I will get there. I am going to emphasize this is what is working for ME! It may not be for everyone, and you can be damn well be sure I am not going to push it on anyone else.  You, the reader, will hear about my weekly challenges with food or training, but I am guessing since you come here to read my blog this is helpful to you in some way.

So, that is me venting about the crap I have been seeing and hearing about this for the past year.  Extremism for either side of the coin is not good and I get sick of hearing about it.  So, I will get off my soapbox now, I will admit it did feel good to vent. .  As always any comments below are welcome I will make this one caveat to that they are welcome as long as they are respectful. :)

Hope everyone has a great week and ask always my DetmiNation link is below.

DetermiNation

BBQ Chicken

My post this week is just going to be a quick recipe.  This is one of my favorites that is my go to when  I want the crockpot to do all the work. :) 

Hungry girl Slow Cooking BBQ Chicken

I usually will have it with a vegetable and no carbohydrate as the bun will be enough. If you prefer to have brown rice and no bun, either way works well. It is also great for leftovers.

As always all comments are welcome! I hope everyone has a great week and again my Determination link is below if anyone would like to donate.

Thanks

Paula

DetermiNation

July

Anyone who has been diagnosed with depression will have their off days. Many people find themselves more depressed during the winter months. For me that month is July.  Around Saturday I started feeling a bit down and I was like no biggie, no one is upbeat all the time. Each day after it seemed to get worse until finally on Tuesday I was groggy and really didn't want to get out of bed at all that morning. So, I dragged myself out of bed and sat down and just thought about what triggered this depression. It took me a second but I realized it was July. This has no significance to most but to me it does,

July of 2003 my father's cancer resurfaced and within 4 months he was gone. To give you a time line of how quickly this happened Dad was diagnosed with oral cancer May 2003. They surgically removed it and did a body scan and no other cancer was detected.  We breathed a sigh of relief, a relief that didn't last. July, just a month and a half later it came back. The doctors kept telling us it was treatable and that everything would be fine. He had surgery again, and this time he had a round of chemotherapy and a round of radiation.  He was sick from the treatment. but as long as it did the trick and saved him we knew it would be worth it. October 31, 2003 we found out that there was nothing more that could be done and he had 3 months to live, 15 days later her was gone.

So, looking at this timeline, July is a month that majorly triggers my depression. You would think that the initial diagnosis date would do that, but it is July more. One way I try to explain this is it was like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football. Right when we were getting our footing again and things were looking up *BAM* cancer struck again. The football was taken away right when we were trying to kick it.

After 13 years I am getting better. I am better at using my therapy to make sure it does not become a 2-3 weeks episode like in the past. This time it lasted 4 days. I am not a pacifist when it comes to my depression, when I realize the signs I attack it with meditation, movement, and diet. I know if  I'm not aware of it 2-3 weeks of my life will go up in smoke! Puff! I won't let that happen again.

Awareness for me is key when it comes to my Depression.

So, although this months sucks for me I know it will suck next year too. My depression is a part of who I am. Awareness and mindfulness are key for me. I am making it through another July, and this year I didn't lose much time in the process. I'd say that is a win in my book.

Well, my food journey has been going ok, but each day is a new day to improve.  Next week I will have a new recipe to try so stay tuned.

Well, I hope everyone has a great week as always all comments are welcome.

My DeterMination  link for the American Cancer Society is below again, if anyone would like to donate. Thank you,

Paula

DeterMination

yummy

This is going to be a quick post and then I will post the yummy healthy recipe I made tonight.

Cutting out sweets this week did not go so well. It was a lot harder than I anticipated so I will work on doing it for another week. By doing this I hope to curb my dependence on sweets, and have healthy options available when I have what I call "needing a sugar fix." Drink water or eat some fruit are some ideas that I hope will help. I'll be honest, when you work from home it can be harder to control your eating because you do a lot more mindless eating. This week my plan is to work on mindfulness when it comes to eating I need to be more aware of what I am putting in my mouth when I am staring at my monitor. My plan is to have little reminders around my monitor so that when I grab for something to eat I will ask myself am I really hungry or not. If I give myself that minute to think about I will make better decisions throughout the week.

Caffeine update: This week was actually harder than the first week, I didn't give in and have a Diet Mountain Dew but it was tempting. Headaches were pretty bad this week but I will keep plugging away at. I have read it takes 1 month for withdrawals symptoms to go away so 2 weeks down 2 weeks to go! 

Training for the half marathon continues, some weeks are better than others but I keep plugging away. :)

Alright so everyone have a great Independence Day and as promised here is the meal that I made tonight. It was so good. I have a Skinnytaste cookbook and this was really yummy. I plan to make more in the future.

Chicken Enchillades Skinnytaste

As always any comments are welcome, and here again is my DetermiNation page all donations are welcome.

Paula

DetermiNation American Cancer Society