Musings before the race

I’m grateful for Thanksgiving and family

 

Happy Thanksgiving!!

 

The night before the race, and I think my mind if racing faster than my body will tomorrow. My mind comes up with extreme scenarios of what can go wrong; this is the worse part of an anxious mind. I’ve trained and now I am ready for the race. Could I have trained more? Probably, but that is hard to say as I always think I can do more and something better.  If I look at it from more of a neutral basis without my racing thoughts, yes I probably could have trained more but I also know I can do this race. Will it be fast?  No, but getting off the couch and even walking 1 mile is better than nothing, and I am run/walking 13.1 miles. No small feat.

 

So, what I need to do tonight is get my clothes together for the race, continue with the positive thought, and get some meditation done.  I need to continue drinking copious amounts of water and get some quality sleep tonight.  Before I know it the race will be done and I will have crossed that finish line. Not fast, but I will have 2 more opportunities to get faster and improve my time next year, and I will because I know myself and that is only whom I have to be competitive with…. Myself, nothing else matters.

 

I will be writing either tomorrow or Sunday to update how the race went.Next week I will be starting a rotation of Insanity and my blog will continue with that training. Have a great weekend and enjoy the journey.

 

 

Pure Determination

Grateful for treadmills

So we hit our first real cold spell in Minnesota this weekend. The temperatures ranged anywhere from single digits to just barely double digits above zero. Thankfully the race on Saturday looks like it will be in the mid 30’s which is a heat wave for this time of year.  So, my question was do I run in this awful cold or try and grunt out 10 miles on the treadmill?  I ventured outside on Sunday to see what it was like. So, the treadmill it was. Armed with “The Avengers” movie I started my long trek on the treadmill. Little over 2 hours later I was done. Was it hard? Hell yes, am I glad I did it? Absolutely.  I needed that long run to feel confident for my half on Saturday.  Now I know I will finish because if I can do 10 miles I can do 13.

 Why did I tell you about this?  Well the main reason is to prove there are times you have to grunt it out even when you don’t want too. I am also eternally grateful that my stubbornness I have been hearing about since I was a kid helped me in this situation for a change. J

 The point is we don’t always want to do something, but in life if that “thing” you don’t want to do paves the way for something you really want to do, in my case the half marathon you do it, simple as that. So, when you want to quit think of why you are doing this and what you want to accomplish with this. It will usually give you the kick in that butt you need.

Sorry, I didn’t get this post out on Sunday but honestly after the run I was beat and didn’t get much done the rest of the day.  LOL

 

Have a great week everyone, and as always enjoy the journey

 

 

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Procrastination

Grateful for colorful Fonts

Procrastination, this is something that I excel at. J  Last night I knew I needed to get a run in, so what did I do? I plopped down on my couch when I got home from work at 5:40 saying I will rest a bit here then get my mileage in. Fast forward 8 pm jumping up of the couch muttering a few choice words saying “I shouldn’t run this late but I need to get it done!”  So, I broke 2 of my cardinal rules:

 

1.)  Don’t work out late as it will be hard to get to sleep

2.)  Get 8 hours of sleep. 

 

Well I am not perfect and that happens but it was a reminder to me to either get up in the morning and run or run as soon as you get home from work.  Well I know that running when I get home from work didn’t work last night so I am going to work on getting up in the morning to do my training AGAIN! This seems to be the one thing I have the most problem doing is getting up in the morning and training.  Granted I have gotten my training done after work or in the morning but it has been a struggle at times to say the least!

 

I tell myself though at least I am getting it done and keep plugging away at it even when I don’t “feel” like it. I just keep working at it and that is all we can ask of ourselves. Even when we are struggling,  we are doing it and that is all that matters. I keep telling myself I am too stubborn to quit and I don’t look at that as a bad thing. LOL J There are those that may disagree but really not my problem.

 

Well, I hope everyone had a great week and they were able to start, continue, or improve on any program they are doing. The main thing is to just get up and move; in out busy society that is always progress. I will write again on Sunday after my long run before I start tapering, but until then as always enjoy the journey.

You're worth it!

Grateful I have the knowledge to work through my problems

 

Today’s blog post it going to get a little deep, but I think it is important. First and foremost you are worth it! That is what I want everyone to tell themselves when they are making some excuse not to work out.  Even if you are a busy mom and you think you shouldn’t take the time away from your children to exercise, tell yourself you are worth it!  Your children will benefit from you taking care of yourself. You are giving them a positive role model for them to look up to.  Each time you say “I don’t have time to workout,” “I am tired,” “I will do it tomorrow, or “I don’t feel like it,” you are basically saying to yourself I am not worth it! You are SOO worth it! Make this your mantra when you make up some excuse to not workout. Stop yourself and say, “No, I am worth it. Taking care of myself is important.”

 

This is something that I realized recently. My father was diagnosed with cancer and died within 6 months. I was not prepared for it and I was in complete denial that he would die.  Well, as we know that, in life, it doesn’t matter if we are ready or not. Life continues to move on. The past 10 years I have been struggling with my depression and anxiety and the whole idea that I am worth it. Struggling to understand why God took him and not me. Almost like a survivor’s guilt.  Since I already had clinical depression to begin with, it is not that far of a jump to feel this way and to feel you are not worth taking care of yourself.  It took close to 10 years to figure this out, but I realized this is life, this is what happened, and not taking care of you won’t change that. So, I am worth it. I am worth the 4 mile runs, the weight training, and the interval training.  I am worth eating healthy and getting plenty of sleep. I am worth it, and by not taking care of myself I was disrespecting dad’s memory. It might have taken me a while to realize that, but life is progress. You have to continue to look forward looking back won’t do you any good.

 

So, my half marathon is 2 weeks away.  This first half marathon training has been all about learning. Learning I am worth it. Learning what kind of training works for me, and having some bumps along the way. But it is all about progress to my happy healthy fit life.  

 

Well, I know these past 2 posts have been kind of heavy but remember I said I wouldn’t sugar coat anything. The next posts though will be much lighterJ. I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and as always enjoy the journey.

 

water

 

I am grateful for my family

Today will be a brief post. Yesterday was a hard day for me. It is the 10^th anniversary of my father’s death. He died from cancer 10 years ago. The hardest thing with his death was how quickly it happened. We were not prepared.  Up until 15 days before he died we truly thought he was going to beat it. All the doctors were positive he was going to beat it, and I didn’t think about him dying as I truly did not think that would happen. Then October 31, 2003 I received a call from my mother stating the cancer was continuing to grow even through the treatment and there was nothing more the doctors could do. They gave him 3 months to live, he died 15 days later, and he had only been diagnosed in May 2003. 10 years later we are all still grieving in our own way.

Today’s subject though is going to be water, in honor of my dad. He always told me “You drink too much pop. You have to drink more water.” I, being a teenage girl, didn’t want to listen to him. Of course dad was right. As I train more and more I have come to realize that the days I don’t drink enough water my workouts are not as good, I am more worn out.  Of course the days where I get my water in I have kickass training sessions.

I still have a very hard time some days getting my water in and I always hear my dad say “put down the pop get a glass of water.” Now, as an adult I usually do put the diet pop down and grab a bottle of water. J The question though is how much do we drink. There are so many different answers out there. The one that I typically go with is half of my body weight and the days that I train I typically add another 20 oz to that number.  Not to say that I am perfect FAR FROM IT! But I try and some days I am unable to do it. That just means I try harder the next day. And I always hear my father say:

 

“Put down that pop and go drinks some water.”

 

Miss and love you dad and think of you daily. Everyone have a good weekend and as always enjoy the journey.

 

 

I’m grateful for beautiful weekend weather

 

I’m sitting at my desk drinking my chocolate protein shake after finishing my long run of 9 miles today, I was thinking about balance in my daily life and how difficult it can be, but also how essential it is. 

While I have been training for this half marathon I have noticed that when I don’t have a set schedule with time blocked off for my training; I either don’t get my run in or I end up getting half the mileage in that I was going to run for the day. Although personality wise I am pretty impulsive, this does not help me in my training. I will give an example.  A friend of mine a couple weeks ago asked me to do supper with her. Which one did I want to do more supper with a good friend or train? Hmm let’s think about that. I also felt like if I said no because I had training she would be insulted that I chose to train over her. 

We have all been in this situation, we know what we should do but we don’t necessary do it. Well in this case I said, “well I have to get some training in could we do it say around 6:30” and guess what she was fine with that. 

Balance You need your friends to help you relax, you have to work, you have to train, and you have to sleep. These are all essential. Just write down a schedule day by day that can accommodate everything in your life.

The last thing you want to do is look back on your life and regret that you didn’t do the think you wanted to do.  You had some burning desire to do these things but thought they were frivolous and have no place in an adult life. So what! Do what you want to do and in the long run you will be happy for it. Balance.

 

Hope everyone had a great weekend and as always enjoy the journey

Food

 Grateful for Good Books

Okay so I learned my lesson [again] that, while training, if you are not eating the right kinds of foods you are only hurting yourself.  I have always had more of an issue with food than working out. Working out I can do that, get up and move. Eating healthy, well there, I have more of an issue. Growing up I never had to worry about it, my nickname was “string bean.” I could eat what I wanted and not have to worry about it. Well, in my 30’s all of that changed. I am not heavy by any means, but if I ate the way I did in college that would probably not be the case. So, time to start eating the way I should. Fruits, veggies, and less processed foods have been added to my diet the last couple weeks.  How has this affected me? Well, of course, my training has been better and I have felt less sluggish.  Let’s face it we all know how to eat better and take care of ourselves better. No matter what ads you find in fitness magazines; there are no magic pills to eating healthy,  No matter how many different lies we want to tell ourselves.  Sooner or later we always come back to eating healthy.

Now don’t get me wrong I still have my treat nights every now and then.  Example tonight my husband wanted pizza. I was good with that because I knew I could get back on track afterwards.  It’s all about balance not extremism either way.  When you have a treat dinner don’t ruin it by eating like that the entire night, come home drink some water and if you are hungry later on have an apple. The same could be said the other way. If you are too strict with your diet that you don’t allow yourself time to hang out with friends, or in my case have a treat supper with my husband, life becomes too strict. I need to have some flexibility or it becomes more of an obsession and that is not a good thing either. It is all about balance,

Next blog post we will talk about balance not just in your eating but with your daily life.

 Well, have a great night everyone and as always enjoy the journey.

 

FYI: I’m trying to have more consistency with when my blog is written, weekdays/nights are super busy for me so look for my blogs to come out Fridays and Sundays. Any other posts will be a bonus for youJ!

 

Reaffirmation

Grateful for reaffirmation of goals

 

I was sitting in my living room watching the Vikings play the Cowboys and thinking about my blog. Wondering how I was going to put my thoughts onto paper, So, I am just going to shoot from the hip.

I got my 9 miles in today and I knew I would after I reaffirmed my goals yesterday, Let me explain, I received an email from the race coordinator for the Moustache Run yesterday just giving runners the heads up on a number of points for the race. One of the things that caught my attention was the limit for the race it is 3 hours, which I expected.  Now most runners would shrug and say no problem. I am not most runners.  What it did for me was make me anxious because I know this first of three half marathons I am doing is going to be slow. This first half marathon will be run/walk intervals, which I am fine with. My pace for my mile right now on average is 13:10 to 13:40 when I pushed it for a short run I did 12:30. Yes this is slow again that does not matter to me. What matters to me is FINISHING what I started.  In the past I have had the tendency to allow my anxiety to control me and not finish what I have set out to do. I will not allow this to happen again. I WILL finish.

When I started this blog in early October I said I am going to do 3 half marathon within a year and improve with each race. This is my goal and this is my reaffirmation to myself. I will do this. I am following thru with what I started. NO EXCUSES and my anxiety is not a viable reason not to follow thru. To use a common phrase, Fear is not an option. Fours weeks to go and I am feeling stronger and more confident than I have in the past, which is why I know I will finish under the 3 hour limit. Life is goodJ. As always enjoy the journey.