July

Anyone who has been diagnosed with depression will have their off days. Many people find themselves more depressed during the winter months. For me that month is July.  Around Saturday I started feeling a bit down and I was like no biggie, no one is upbeat all the time. Each day after it seemed to get worse until finally on Tuesday I was groggy and really didn't want to get out of bed at all that morning. So, I dragged myself out of bed and sat down and just thought about what triggered this depression. It took me a second but I realized it was July. This has no significance to most but to me it does,

July of 2003 my father's cancer resurfaced and within 4 months he was gone. To give you a time line of how quickly this happened Dad was diagnosed with oral cancer May 2003. They surgically removed it and did a body scan and no other cancer was detected.  We breathed a sigh of relief, a relief that didn't last. July, just a month and a half later it came back. The doctors kept telling us it was treatable and that everything would be fine. He had surgery again, and this time he had a round of chemotherapy and a round of radiation.  He was sick from the treatment. but as long as it did the trick and saved him we knew it would be worth it. October 31, 2003 we found out that there was nothing more that could be done and he had 3 months to live, 15 days later her was gone.

So, looking at this timeline, July is a month that majorly triggers my depression. You would think that the initial diagnosis date would do that, but it is July more. One way I try to explain this is it was like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football. Right when we were getting our footing again and things were looking up *BAM* cancer struck again. The football was taken away right when we were trying to kick it.

After 13 years I am getting better. I am better at using my therapy to make sure it does not become a 2-3 weeks episode like in the past. This time it lasted 4 days. I am not a pacifist when it comes to my depression, when I realize the signs I attack it with meditation, movement, and diet. I know if  I'm not aware of it 2-3 weeks of my life will go up in smoke! Puff! I won't let that happen again.

Awareness for me is key when it comes to my Depression.

So, although this months sucks for me I know it will suck next year too. My depression is a part of who I am. Awareness and mindfulness are key for me. I am making it through another July, and this year I didn't lose much time in the process. I'd say that is a win in my book.

Well, my food journey has been going ok, but each day is a new day to improve.  Next week I will have a new recipe to try so stay tuned.

Well, I hope everyone has a great week as always all comments are welcome.

My DeterMination  link for the American Cancer Society is below again, if anyone would like to donate. Thank you,

Paula

DeterMination